Monday, January 25, 2010

A Long And Rambling Post In Which No Problems Are Predicted

I've had a very protected upbringing and so by the time I began "dating", I hadn't really shed the rose coloured glasses.After having my heart broken one time too many, I decided to let the parents start looking for a man to marry.Anyway, after the first round of replying to classified ads, the folks had pruned the list down to  four guys,who might not be all that bad,and who could be met with in Delhi, where I was working at the time. From all of these guys ,there was only one guy whom I actually wanted to meet,the others were to be met because they were also in Delhi.

Since my parents are not Delhi based, the whole meet-the-guy(s) took place at a very close family friends place in Delhi.So, here's what happened over the next four days-

First Evening- Guy No.1 (GN1), a defence officer ( high on the folks could-be-the-one-list) arrives with his parents ,and after about half an hour of very uncomfortable small talk amongst the parents, my father suggests that we(self and GN1) could go out somewhere, and have a conversation. To this, GN1 says "Let the parents talk, I'll go with whatever they say". At this point, I just smiled and thought,"NEXT"

Second Afternoon- Guy No.2 (GN2),"well settled" PSU guy( very low on my could-be-the-one list) Comes with parents, there's some small talk, at least the man has the decency to discuss the weather with me.When they get up to go, his mom gives my gigantic 5'5"(plus heel aided 3"),large sari clad frame,one top to toe look and looks at her little darling ,and I know it's time to say "NEXT".

Third Morning- My father gets a call, from GN3, another defence officer, 6' tall (aaah! my beloved high heels) , who is  on his way back from leave ,and is staying a few days with his sister.He's calling to ask if it's convenient for us to meet him this evening.It's a courtesy call, the done thing in the "fauj",before coming over to meet anyone( specially a senior officer) formally .GN3's folks had sent us a letter with his photograph, and had mentioned that "he CAN also speak" Bengali, which was good 'cos I could also speak Bengali like that ;)

Anyway, so GN3 arrives in the evening with his brother-in-law in tow(his sister's at home with a sick baby), we sit down and talk. The parents and GN3's brother-in-law are also a part of the conversation.... barely. He's reading  a book I had just finished and both of us love Asterix and Tintin. Then we started talking about how both of us had bought mobiles recently,but no numbers were exchanged. Two hours later , my mom ,very hesitantly breaks in on the conversation to invite them to stay for dinner,which is when GN3 remembers his brother-in-law and they politely decline and leave. After they've left , it dawns on me that we havnt even discussed anything remotely related to the purpose of our meeting.

Fourth Evening- Guy No.4 (GN4) , a businessman,from a "cultured" pearl of a family, arrives with his parents in tow. The oyster wants to go out on a date asap , but something about him sets off warning bells in my head and I opt for having a conversation in another  room. As soon as we're out of ear shot , I know the bells were right , because he comes right out and asks me, "So, you've been living alone for a while now, have you had any boyfriends and how far have you gone with them? Don't worry,you can tell me, I'm very broad minded , and I've also had a few girlfriends". Since I've been brought to be polite(even to broadminded oysters) ,instead of telling him to mind his own business, I said "Let the parents talk, I'll go with whatever they say" (Thanks GN1)

Anyway, a few days later, my parents had gone back, and we hadn't heard anything further from any of the guys .I'd had a fight with my mom about not doing anything about my weight before meeting those guys. I made it very clear about the fact that ANY guy who wanted to marry me , would have to meet and like me in all my humongous glory!The next morning,after I'd gotten up at an ungodly hour to go for a walk,and was thinking that GN3 was quite allright, my mom calls up and we have the following conversation

Mom- Meeeeeeneeeeee ki korchish? (What're you doing ,Mini?)
Me(very-grumpy-nose-in-the-air) - Getting late for work,dont have time to talk now.
Mom- Achha, I just wanted to tell you that....
Me(very-irritated-nose-in-the-air) - Keeeee??? (WHAaaaaat?)
Mom-GN3 er ma ,  shokal e phone korechilo(GN3's mother called this morning) and she said that he wants to meet you a few more times, and most likely he's interested in getting married. She took your number and said that he's out on some course right now and will call whenever he's planning to come to Delhi next.
Me (grinning from ear to ear)- See, I told you .

A month  and a half later , I got a call from GN3 , he was driving down to Delhi to meet his sister, and me.So we went out for dinner, and I bunked work the next day and we drove around Delhi, getting some minor repairs done for his car, did a little shopping, listened to a whole lot of music ,exchanged some photographs, and I almost finished my crossword puzzle while he was driving. As the evening came, he said that he would drop me off early since his sister was alone and he wanted to spend some time with her. So we decided to have coffee and part ways. By the time,  my cold coffee with ice cream arrived(and he had grabbed and almost finished my crossword) I couldnt stop myself from asking,

"SO, what happens next"

To which , he replied , without even looking up from his crossword,

"Your ice cream will melt"

At this point of time, we were still on politely amicable terms, and I didn't want to spoil it by hitting him on the head with my newspaper.Which is why asked,

"No, I mean with us,is this going any further?"

And got a very nonchalant

"I thought you knew, we're getting married"

Well,at that time, I was too busy grinning from ear to ear to ask him why he wanted to marry me,so I did it a little later as he was dropping me off.He stopped the car, and considered it for a full minute,before answering,

"Generally, I thought there'll be no problems here "

(I should have known better than to expect a mushy response,but I did anyway, which is why I got really mad and didnt speak to him again till he had dropped me outside my PG.)

Don't tell him I said so, but he was right .

PS: He did eventually say what I wanted to hear ,just took him two years to do so.


Anonymous said...

Aw, your blog looks great!! I love reading personal blogs, everyone needs to have something where they can just write what's in their head :)

shail said...

You an Asterix fan??!! Ahhhh...
I liked the term 'broadminded oyster.' Quite a crowd of these around! ;)
That was fun to read! Have you read
'The day the ice was broken' at my place?? You will find it here:

akanksha said...

Awww this is such a cute post!! :)
It gives me new hope, to bear the arranged marriage menace, btw.
Hopped here from IHM's blog.

MRC said...


Thank you :D Welcome to my blog.
As I've said elsewhere , the arranged marriage market, is murky but not entirely useless!Also ,in my opinion, for a woman (or a man) with a sensible head on their shoulders it is just one of many ways to meet a potential life partner.

Wish you all the best in your search :D

jiji subi said...

Delightful read MRC!!!! Are there any more in the kitty?


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